On Why I Cry at Night

By: Nadirah Angail
YRAC Editor/Journalist

I fear for my nieces, because even Dora the Explorer wears a belly shirt. And Kim Possible won’t get a bigger shirt to save her life. They’re in love with those Bratz dolls, which to me look like little floozies. (I just don’t see why dolls for little girls should be so provocatively dressed). I know they’re only 6 and 8, but soon enough they’ll be 10 and 12; and sadly, some girls have already lost their innocence by then.

Sure, I tell them they look adorable in their age-appropriate clothes, but who else will? At what point will they realize that the only ones that like their clothes are the people that live in their house? And will that matter? It’s hard to counteract these messages that are coming at them left and right. Because when everyone else thinks it’s cute and normal that their daughters’ clothes look painted-on, I look like the crazy one when I say it’s a problem. When I don’t clap after the cheerleading routine that looks like it was stolen from some strip club, I look unsupportive and cold.

I wonder what these parents are thinking. Your 13 year old wears more makeup than Ru Paul, and you’re cool with that? Your 14 year old’s thong sticks up out her pants, and you’re not at all bothered? (Sidebar: Remind me again why a 14 year old even needs a thong?) Your 16 year old’s cleavage is all over Myspace, and you chalk it up to normal teenage behavior? Maybe it’s just me, but I think it’s extremely abnormal for our girls to be so sexualized at such young ages.

Kim Possible

We women really need to make up our minds. On one hand, we claim we demand respect for all females and teach our daughters to be independent, high achievers. On the other, we covertly convince them that the way to success, happiness and worthiness is through their bodies. Well, actually, it’s not covert at all. Turn on the TV or flip through any magazine and tell me how covert the messages are.

We try to justify by saying women have been oppressed for years— for centuries even— and that now is the time to break free, to be sexually liberated, or to be “Stripped”, as Christiana Aguilera put it. Say that if you wish, whatever helps you sleep at night, but know the truth. Women in our society have been and still are oppressed in many ways. The only difference now is that we’ve accepted it and don’t even know it. At least when women couldn’t vote, we knew we were being treated unfairly. But now, we’re so fooled into believing that this is what true liberation looks like, so blinded by the false sense of worth, that we don’t even see the thick bars of hypocrisy that encage us. Look at how many women feel obligated to dressy sexy just to be noticed. Look at how many women base their value on how many heads they turn. Now, how liberated is that?

To me, liberation is knowing that I attracted my husband in so many ways

Appropriate for our girls?

that had nothing to do with the curve of my body, knowing that my sexuality is a wonderful thing and displayed only to he who is worthy. Liberation is knowing that I can walk into a room and command attention with my speech, my ideas, my presence. That’s the liberation I want my nieces to feel one day. But for now, they’re 6 and 8, and don’t even know the meaning of the word. So until then, I’ll just pray on it, try to set the best example possible, and hide all their Bratz dolls!

Nadirah Angail
Copyright© 2009