YRAC Presents: Quality Control Music Reviews- Beyond Conflict
YRAC Presents: Quality Control Music Reviews
Artist: Mohammed Yahya
CD Title: Beyond Conflict
Sounds like: Yahya definitely has his own sound, but if the powerful, Muslim leader Malcolm X made music, it might have sounded something like this. A perfect mix of infectious main stream beats and underground edge.
Description: Starting with its title, Beyond Conflict, this CD takes a deliberate stance and approaches hot-button issues that aren’t often dealt with in the music industry. While other artists dumb down their lyrics with materialist and superficial topics, Yahya appeals to your intellect, your heart and your desire for good music. With songs like “Free Al Aqsa,” he uses his talent to directly address the Palestinian-Israeli controversy.
The song starts with a heartfelt message from Yahya: When I turned on the news and I saw what was going on in Jerusalem…that made me angry… What made me even more angry was the fact that not enough publicity was being given to that incident, so I felt that I had to be the their voice… I had to speak out against the injustices that were being committed at that specific time. Doesn’t mean that I’m anti-Semitic, doesn’t mean that I feel any hatred towards any Jewish or Israeli citizen… I will stand and speak out against any injustices committed to Palestinians just the same way that I will stand and speak out against any injustices committed to any Jews or Israeli citizens.
Bringing in the balance are lighter, upbeat songs like “Hopeful” and “Half My Deen,” an ode to his beautiful wife. If you’re in a dancing mood, there’s “This is Why I’m Cold” and “Hammer,” two cuts with a funky, Reggae feel.
Nadirah’s top pick: Hopeful- I dare you to play this track without bobbing your head. It’s not possible. This song just makes you feel good. Definitely one to play on repeat.
YRAC SPOTLIGHT INTERVIEW- Mohammed Yahya, Spoken word Hip Hop Artist
By: Nadirah Angail
YRAC Editor/Journalist
Merriam-Webster defines the word “artist” as “one who professes and practices an imaginative art.” It should be defined as “Mohammed Yahya.” This Mozambican-born wordsmith pours his bold thoughts and opinions onto the page and wraps them up in infectious beats. Though he shies away from labels like Muslim rapper and conscious rapper (or anything that would put his music in a box) he is unmistakably Muslim and most definitely conscious of the messages he sends. Now residing in London, he’s taking his unique music wordwide.
Having to flee his home country at a young age showed Yahya, first hand, the effects of war. And though he’s been through something so traumatic, he still sees himself as blessed and uses his story as inspiration to help others. “Coming from a war torn country has made me feel like I have a duty , and to speak out against injustices that are being committed worldwide. I feel so blessed that I wasn’t one of the 1 million plus people that were killed in the Mozambican Civil War. I could have been one of those people who didn’t have a voice, or didn’t have anyone to speak on my behalf, but instead God blessed me with a talent, so I feel I should never take it for granted and always use it for a positive cause,” Yahya explained.
Not only does he use his music to affect positive change, but he is the president of Speech for Peace, an organization that seeks to promote social justice by breaking down the barriers that humans create. What started as community development work grew into a full-fledged organization whose purpose, he explains, is to “create positive movements that will inspire all communities towards constructive engagement between one another, exemplifying understanding and compassion in the work for social justice and human dignity beyond the barriers of religion, ethnicity, and nationality.” Yahya thrives on youth work and has “bringing people together” as a common goal in all his endeavors.
Take, for example, his interreligious rap duo, Lines of Faith, UK’s first-ever, Muslim-Jewish Hip Hop act. Along with his band mate, Daniel Silverstein, Yayha performs across Europe and America, promoting religious tolerance and understanding through collaborative music. “Our music is a fusion of Islamic and Jewish concepts, with jazz, Hip Hop, reggae, funk and elements of rock. The direction of the project is focused on bringing the ancient traditions of both faiths alive in a way that highlights the common ground of the two communities as well as all humanity, something that we feel is very necessary in the current climate.”
It’s obvious that Mohammed Yahya isn’t your average rapper. Not only does his music teach valuable lessons, but it is also an eclectic mix of the cultures and languages that have colored his life. Having lived in both Portugal and London, Yahya’s music is bursting with diversity. He takes from all that he’s experienced to create a new and refreshing sound:
“Living in Portugal has opened me up to a wide variety of music such as “Fado” and a lot of Brazilian music too, because in Brazil they also speak Portuguese. One of my favourite Portuguese singers is a female singer called Amelia Rodrigues, and my favourite Brazilian singer is Maria Betanhia, who is extremely poetic singer… There was always music being played in my household. My mother absolutely loved music and my father was a singer back in Mozambique, so I was introduced to African Music from a very early age. Growing up I listened to a lot of music from Mozambique, Angola, Cape Verde, Congo and Latin music. I guess my sound is constantly developing and is influenced by all of this, from the political messages of the Brazilian singer Bezzera da Silva, to the poetic wordplay of Maria Betanhia, to the energy of the Mozambican Marrabenta.”
These rich influences have helped to form a multilingual (he speaks Portuguese, English, and some Spanish, Italian and French) force that is spreading beyond its British borders. He has worked with various artists and refuses to let naysayers stop his progression. He reminds those that down artists with a positive message that “there are many rappers worldwide who are positive and yet sustain themselves from their art form.” Though popular American Hip Hop is dominated by party music with shallow lyrics, British Hip Hop is different. Says Yahya, “The British Hip Hop I listen to has a very positive, strong political and social empowering messages. I think the sound is quite different, but as time goes by it’s starting to sound like a lot like Hip Hop from U.S….” No matter how similar most Hip Hop begins to sound, there will always be others like Yahya that have their own sound. These are the artists that he gravitates towards. “I love music coming out from West Africa, especially Mali and Senegal. Senegalese Hip Hop is great! Shout out to Magee from Nomadic Wax for introducing me to a world of African Hip Hop in general. I’m also feeling K’naan, Zion I, Brother Ali, and of course everyone I work with, such as Poetic Pilgrimage, Masikah, Sound Species, Big Samir and The Reminders, Fidel, and many more.”
In the years that Yahya has been performing professionally, he’s faced many challenges as an independent artist and has continually turned to Allah for help and guidance. He has created a delicate balance between his career and his personal life, and appreciates the fact that his wife, who is also a musician, understands the sacrifices of being a full time artist. Along with the challenges have been triumphs that consistently remind him of how blessed he truly is. After fleeing his native country of Mozambique in his early years, he was able to perform there and reconnecting with his people. Mohammed Yahya is constantly reaching new heights as he “contribute[s] towards this universal musical movement that human beings have been working on for centuries.”
To hear some of Mohammed Yahya’s music, visit his myspace page and youtube channel
Copyright© 2009
On People With No Reflection
By: Nadirah Agail
YRAC Editor/Journalist
Picture this: You’re walking down the street, trying desperately to get to your destination on time, and a homeless man asks “Could you spare some change so I could get something to eat?” You know you have a few singles and some change in your wallet, but you need that for the meter and to buy snacks. You don’t want to tell the man “No.” (That would just feel rude.) So, instead, you quicken your pace and try not to make eye contact. It’s less awkward that way.
There are other times when you can and do spare change, but let’s focus on today’s interaction (or lack there of). You didn’t ignore the man to be mean. You’re not a mean person. You did it because you felt bad about not honoring his request; so, rather than look him in the face and admit that you’re not going to help, you avoided the situation entirely. This is your logic. It’s been mine, too. Not anymore.
I’ve taken no official polls, but from simple observation, it seems fair to say that most people ignore the homeless. Regardless of our reasons for doing this, it has the same detrimental result. Every interpersonal interaction we share- be it pleasant or hostile, significant or brief- works to fulfill the basic human needs of confirmation and validation. It confirms that we are in fact human and validates that we are worthy of recognition. Our friends, family members and associates are more than just support and social networks. They are the shiny surfaces that constantly reflect our images, letting us know that we’re still human, still accepted, still here.
Most of us never think this deeply about our interactions, because they’re plentiful and adequate. Imagine if they weren’t. Imagine if you woke up one day and could find no one to respond to you. At first you’d think it was joke, some type of prank they were all in on. No big deal. If it continued, though, you’d really start to doubt your sanity. “Don’t they see me? Can’t they hear me? I’m right here!” With no one providing a reflection, it wouldn’t take long for us to begin to doubt our own existence.
And we wonder why so many homeless people have mental health issues. Not that there aren’t other significant factors to consider, but our consistent disregard of their humanity– of their severe need for recognition–surely contributes to the formation of mental instability. Regardless of if we realize it or not, every time we ignore them and silently walk by, the big, bellowing message we deliver is “You don’t exist!,” as if we are the ones worthy of removing the right to life.
Maybe I’m being dramatic. Maybe I’m making you feel bad. That is not my intention, but we have to look at what we’re doing. Newborn babies can’t even survive without human stimulation and touch. Young children become mentally stunted and have problems acquiring language skills if they aren’t talked to regularly. Older children develop self esteem issues and improper etiquette if they don’t receive the right type of communication. The importance of talking to people is undeniable. We are social beings by nature, programmed to seek out and provide help. Are the homeless any less human? Is their nature any different? I’d have to say no. So, even if you can’t give money, give something better: a reflection.
Copyright© 2009
Youth Leadership and the Future
By: Halim Naeem
YRAC Aux Staff Journalist
The great Imam W.D. Muhammad is dead. May Allah have mercy on his soul. Quite frankly, I am not worried about him. He is in a better place relaxing with the God and Prophet that he loves, Insha Allah. What I am worried about is the community. I am worried because there is still a chance that Shaytan can sway us from the path of Allah. How do we stop this from happening? We have to sustain our community. The best and the only way to sustain our community is to develop our youth.
People have asked for ages how to exactly do that. It is pretty simple. Development comes through two things: training and experience. Training comes in the form of mentorship and instilling good decision making skills into our youth. Experience comes through putting our youth in leadership positions to develop their skills. This is where intergenerational communication becomes critical. As it is, communication is horrible between generations in the American Muslim community across ages, ethnicities, organizations and regions.
The W.D. Community had an amazing conference during Labor Day and Ramadan of this year. We showed up in great numbers and displayed an enthusiasm and zeal for Islam that is nearly unmatchable. Yet, there was a major thing missing: the youth. Though there were workshops made for the youth and topics that could even be considered “youth friendly,” the few youth who were there seemed to be held hostage or dragged there. The looks on their faces and in their demeanor read “This is not for me.” I appreciate how much work and prioritization went into the youth agenda from the W.D. conference. However, a critical formula was missing:
ownership + development = Leadership.
Simply put, if the community is to sustain itself, there need to be youth (ages 10-18 and 18-25) put on parallel tracts for the conference this upcoming year. I do not mean a few token youth. I mean whole committees of youth. There need to be concerts, dinners, sports tournaments, competitions, workshops, celebrities and much more. Once a sense of ownership is created within the individual, then s(he) needs development, which comes through healthy mentoring. Healthy mentoring comes from a relationship between a mentor and youth that empowers and does not devour. Once the youth develop to a point where they are confident in their abilities, and have created relationships in their areas of interest, they then grow into leaders. Communities who do not develop leaders for the future get replaced by Allah. In other words, the community dies.
This act of injecting youth into the core is not hard to do logistically. However, it is extremely hard to accomplish internally. This is because many of the people in previous generations are defined by and melded to specific positions, be they those of prominence or experience. This is why, in the last verse of Surah Asr, Allah says “And strive together in patience and consistency.” We need to be patient with each other and open our hearts to one another. If we maintain the bitterness between generations, we will go nowhere. Let us find new leaders and give them multiple opportunities to develop our community towards the place Allah and his prophet have set out for us.
5th Annual Muslim Day October 24-25, 2009
By: Na’Aisha Malika B.
YRAC Aux Staff Journalist/Photographer
Picture this: It’s a beautiful sunny autumn day around noon. The children are smiling, energetic backseat drivers! Predicting the every turn, bump and curve of my vehicle‘s path. They know their designated time to arrive at the park is coming soon. It’s Muslim Day, and they’ve been waiting all year for this wonderful family festivity! But wait, I suddenly look at the gas gauge and forgot that I was in dire need of gas. So, I pulled over at the big gas station a block away from the park. As I unscrew the top from my gas tank, I look around, surveying the other gas pumping folks, looking for a recognizable face. I see no one. Then I am momentarily drawn away from pumping gas to clean out my son’s car seat for a minute. Suddenly, when I glance back at the gas pump, I see that the numbers in price and gallon are escalating far higher than I need or desire to pay. I know my tanks capacity is 12.5 gallons, but the gauge is showing 14.0 gallons pumping! What happened to the automatic pump that stops when the tank is full?
“Oh my goodness!” As I rush towards the pump exploding gasoline four feet into the air, I am interrupted (and saved) from performing the unwanted task of pulling the spewing pump out of my car. It was a Muslim brother who quickly shouts out the greetings, and makes his way in between my car and the gas pump. Very carefully and meticulously, he pulls the pump out, and somehow manages to avoid stepping in the 1.5 gallons of vaporous gas surrounding the wheels on the right side of my car.
I am disoriented and in shock from the incident, and probably the toxic fumes! After calling the attendant, getting me a refund caused by the defective pump, he then backs my car up away from the gasoline, so as not to ignite any fumes and cause a potential gasoline fire while my children were innocently and eagerly sitting in the car. Visibly shaken, I looked up towards the sky and uttered an ironically relaxed, “Allahuakbar, thank you…so much!” The brother gives a humble greeting and replies, “No problem sister. I am glad that I was able to help you. My name is Zaid. As Salaamu Alaikum! I pray that you enjoy the activities at the park with your children.” And he walks towards his car, opens the door, gets in, nods his head at me one last time, then drives off. I have not seen him since.
I will forever remember Muslim Day 2009. I was a firsthand witness of the miraculous beauty of Allah swt, that is everywhere surrounding us, at times when we least expect it, and when we need it the most. Incidents like this make me remember Imam WD Mohammed and his vision for the unification and charitable deeds towards humanity in our community. These words can only partially convey my gratitude and pride to be a Muslim living in America in such a beautiful community, and in an era that is the catalyst for global change.
The spirit for change was felt amongst the crowd at the historic Grant Park, although significantly smaller than previous years due to weather and other city events. Last year’s crowd was over 5,000 Muslims. Impromptu games of volleyball, football, soccer and even foot racing were starting everywhere I turned. Hundreds of children enjoyed the 5 large inflatable playhouses to their little hearts’ content. Mothers, such as myself, and older siblings looked on proudly at their childrens’ incredible feats of jumping 2-3 feet into the air! The delectable aromas of the finest and freshest halaal cuisine that Atlanta has to offer, permeated my nostrils with every blow of the wind.
Muslim Day featured a mini health fair, family picnics, a great bazaar area, and much more!
A live performances from an all muslim jazz band got everyone on their toes, including a refreshing performance from new teen crooner Saif-Allah Jackson, performing his local hit, “She Be Rocking Hijab.” There were many other performers, including Spoken word/HipHop artist Mustafa Abdul-Basit. The performances were concluded by presentations from Atlanta’s mayoral candidates Kasim Reed, Jesse Spikes, Lisa Borders, and Mary Norwood. This intimate discussion gave viewers an opportunity to listen to the candidates view points ranging from city budget proposals, crime reduction, and diversity. Quranic recitation and nasheed competitions were also held, featuring some of our finest young reciters! The spirit of camaraderie, unity, and peace was all too prevalent. Muslims from all communities in Atlanta were in attendance at Muslim Day 2009.
Performer at Muslim Day
Couple at Muslim Day
Believer capturing the moment
Children enjoying themselves
(For more information or to assist with next year’s planning go to www.muslimday.org.)
On the YRAC Name
By: Nadirah Angail
You R A Creator Editor/Journalist
What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” Juliet said that. And I agree, to an extent. Names don’t define or alter the worth of the things they identify, but if you have a choice, why not choose one that’s fitting?
And so “You R A Creator” was chosen. We needed something that represented the God-given talents this site works to unearth, something that highlighted Muslims’ natural inclination to produce and cultivate. We wanted to unite the worldwide ummah, to create connections where there were none, all with the help of Allah (SWT). We wanted to serve Allah (SWT) by creating peace and productivity on our site, hoping that it would leak into other spheres. This was our intention in choosing this name.
Despite our intentions, some believe that “You R A Creator” means something else. They aggressively suggest that our name attempts to link us, mere humans, to the Creator. They see the word “creator” and become incensed. I appreciate and share their lack of tolerance for blasphemy, but a closer look at the name shows that their energy is unwarranted. It’s all in the article. The difference between “a” creator and “the” Creator is immeasurable. The word “a” implies a general, lower case term, just another one of many. “The” implies a specific, upper case term, the one and only. We believe wholeheartedly that you are a creator, never the Creator. YRAC would never support or promote anything that associates itself with the Creator. Before anything else, each and every one of us is Muslim, dedicated to Allah(SWT) and fully aware of the one unforgivable sin.
Sure, we could have chosen another less controversial name, but our purpose is not to be non-controversial. If that is what it takes to awaken the natural spirit in us all, let there be controversy. As long as those involved have pure hearts, intelligent discussion never does any harm. In fact, it is welcome. Active members know YRAC has been the host of many controversial topics, all of which were discussed in a candid yet respectful and Islamic manner. Disagree all you want. It is your right, but know that we love Allah (SWT) just as much as you do. Know that were know our place as His servants and would never blur the boundary.
Nadirah Angail
Copyright© 2009
On My Constant Battle With Doubt
By: Nadirah Angail
YRAC Editor/Journalist
I think I’m a pretty agreeable person, so I don’t have any enemies. Well, there is this one woman, but I don’t know if she counts. She’s cool most of the time, but sometimes tries to fight and discourage me from whatever it is I’m trying to do. I guess you could call her a hater, but I think Doubter would be a better title. Yes, Doubter is definitely a better title. I should know, because the woman is me. As weird as it may sound, I am my own enemy.
Doubter isn’t always around. A lot of times she is nowhere to be found. But, when I start to make plans—big plans, things I’d like to accomplish— she shows up every time. She marches up, full of “what ifs” and contingencies, and whittles away at my self esteem. Sometimes, I can ignore her, but other times she becomes a full-on bully, blackening the eyes of all my dreams.
Doubter gets around. I’m sure she’s bullied more than a few of us. She spends her days belittling dreams, crushing hopes and stealing lunch money (intellectual lunch money, that is). This scrapper has got a lot of “wins” under her belt, but she’s also got some “loses.” And the secret of those that defeat her is simple: they don’t listen to her taunts.
Just like the Rejected One, she has no power other than that which we give her. So, despite her menacing appearance, she’s harmless at the root. She only becomes powerful when we ingest her lies. She tells us we’re not ______ enough, and we believe her. She tells us we can’t do it, and we believe her. She tells us all kinds of destructive, untrue things that we willingly take into ourselves as truth. This is her strategy. This is how she’s developed her reputation as the fierce fighter she appears to be.
I’ve wasted enough time and opportunity listening to doubt. As wonderful as I am, I’ve agree to the tale that I am not enough. As intelligent as you are, you’ve agreed to the tale that your ideas are not enough. As magnificent and worthy as we all are, we’ve agreed to downgrade ourselves to lower ranks. Our strike is only as powerful as the energy that propels it. Doubt steals that energy, weakens our blow, all in the name of regression. The constant growth of life is inhibited when doubt is indulged. And who am I to prevent my own growth?
Copyright© 2009
YRAC SPOTLIGHT INTERVIEW- Hardcore Detroit: Bringing a Street Dance to a Professional Atmosphere
By: Nadirah Angail
YRAC Editor/Journalist
Detroit Michigan, home of Ford Motor Company, Motown Records and… B-boying? That’s right, B-Boying. It may not have started there, but it’s definitely found a home in this northern city, thanks to Hardcore Detroit.
Don’t know what Hardcore Detroit is? Picture this: a crew of 25, highly-skilled men and women performing some of the hardest and most entertaining break dancing moves you’ve ever seen. And behind it all is a beautiful, Muslim Couple.
Meet Haleem Rasul, the captain of this dynamic dance crew. He’s a passionate young B-Boy who took his love for Hip Hop and turned it into a thriving business. Inspired by the Detroit-based dance show The Scene and a close family member, Haleem (aka Stringz) began to dance as a teen. He had fun as a recreational dancer for some years, and finally began to take it seriously his junior year of high school. Throughout the 1990’s, he danced and networked with other local and national B-Boys, unknowingly preparing himself for the great task he’d later accomplish. “Growing up, I never saw myself as a leader. I see this all as a blessing. I assumed I’d graduate and work for a company, but the Most High put me in certain positions where I found myself tackling certain things,” said Stringz of his accomplishments.
Fast forward to 2001. Haleem used his technical dancing skills, network of dancers, and business knowledge to officially create Hardcore Detroit. With a set of worthy dancers (there’s no getting in this crew unless you battle your way in) he set out to “balance a street type dance with a professional atmosphere.” He traveled to near and far places like Chicago, New York, Los Angeles and even Sweden, exchanging moves and knowledge with some of the best.
Within a few short years, they had managed to put Detroit on the map and establish themselves as the premiere dance crew in the city. Now, Hardcore Detroit is well known in the Hip Hop world. “We’ve made such a presence that nobody in the world can take our name,” Stringz explained about their reputation. And it’s a good thing he’s done this, because others have tried to take the name “Hardcore Detroit” and use it as their own. Luckily, Haleem was smart and popular enough to stop their efforts. While his supports kindly informed the other Hardcore Detroit that the name was already taken, he trademarked the name for his business and shut down the possibility of ever being robbed again.
Hardcore Detroit is more than just a name. It is a description of who they are and what they’re about. “I wanted to change the idea of the word “hardcore.” Make people think positively about it. It’s Edgy. It’s serious. It’s hard…This is what makes us stand out from the rest, because we know the true essence of B-Boying,” said Stringz, who is just as knowledgeable about B-Boy history as he is the dance moves.
With a solid reputation and list of accomplishments under his belt (including performing for the Detroit Institute of the Arts) Stringz was sitting on top of the world. He was the king of Detroit B-Boying. All he needed was a queen…
Enter Mary Mar (aka B-Girl Ma Ma), the First Lady of Hardcore Detroit. They met on the dance floor and have been together ever since. Ma Ma is a born dancer. Even at the early age of 5, she had already found her love for movement; but it wasn’t until she was older that she entered the world of B-Girling.
It started with a simple question: “Is this your break dancing gang?” a naïve Mary asked a group of intriguing breakers.
“It’s not called a gang. It’s a crew,” they informed her. That was her first lesson 8 years ago. She went on to learn many more important lessons about the beautiful culture of Hip Hop, which she feels has been misrepresented by main stream media. “MTV is brainwashing us. Hip Hop is not about booty popping! It’s about bringing people together,” she exclaimed. And that’s what she and her husband strive to do, bring people together in an effort to spread and preserve true Hip Hop.
“A lot of people call themselves B-Boys, but aren’t representing for real Hip Hop, not true to the culture… How are you gonna say you’re a B-Boy and you don’t like Hip Hop music?” This is the problem that Ma Ma has with some B-Boys and B-Girls who want to do the moves without knowing the true technique or the 4 elements of Hip Hop, which are graffiti, djaying, emceeing, and breaking.
It is hard enough being a B-Girl in a world full of B-boys (Ma Ma is 1 of only 2 B-Girls in Detroit) but being a Muslim B-Girl puts her in a special rank all her own. She faces criticism from those who disapprove of a Muslim woman dancing in mixed company. She admits that she tried to stop dancing when she reverted to Islam in 2006, but couldn’t keep herself away from something she loves so much.
“It’s something I still struggle with, but there is a double standard for men and women. No one says anything about men dancing in front of women…Allah (swt) knows my intentions. I’m not dancing to be sexy or to attract men,” she clarified. And this is evident in her style of dress. Though other B-Girls have been known to wear tight-fitting, revealing clothes, Ma Ma breaks in pants, long sleeve shirts, and scarves. “My dress is pretty much the same. I’ve always been modest… I like it better this way, because I used to have a problem with strange men touching my hair.”
It wasn’t just her husband that attracted her to Islam. It was the message of Allah’s oneness. Raised as a Buddhist, she was already familiar with this concept. “Traditionally, Buddhism is about following the teachings of Buddha, not about worshipping many deities.” Now, she’s more patient and feels she owes that to Islam. She advises anyone who is considering Islam to “study and do you. If you feel Islam in your heart, then He’s telling you something.” Be sure to listen.
Some relationship experts consider working with your spouse a bad idea, but Haleem and Mary prove them wrong every day. In marriage, spirituality and business, they are partners, and its working out perfectly. “I consider the fact that we work together a benefit. We’re a dynamic duo. He’s my best friend.”
Copyright© 2009
On the Goals We Set
On the Goals We Set
By: Nadirah Angail
YouRACreator Journalist/Editor
A.) Lose weight/Get healthier
B.) Improve your financial situation
C.) Find a mate/Get married
Without even knowing you, I can bet that you want to do one, or perhaps all, of these things. They seem to be the most popular goals that people set around those magical times when inspiration is strong (Ramadan, New Years, birthdays, etc.). You dust off the workout gear, set a budget and balance the checkbook, and start attending events with your eyes peeled for that special someone. You’re determined to meet your goal. Well, for the first few weeks, anyway. Then, once the newness wears off, the determination wanes, and a slow sense of apathy sets in, you find yourself in the same old rut that you were in to start with. The cycle continues. Goal unmet.
We all want things in our lives, but we rarely want them bad enough to actually go get them. We talk casually about how wonderful it would be to have this or that, but quickly write it off as a mere dream that only a lucky few are able to realize. Think of how many times you’ve jokingly said “I’d love to have/do ______,” treating it like some untouchable star at which you can only stare. Many of these dreams, though, are not untouchable at all, just hard to attain. But if we really wanted them, in the same way that we want peace, love and, life, we would chase them down and make them our own. It is this lack of true desire that keeps us in these unproductive cycles.
Goals are easy to set, easy to get excited about, and hard to achieve. While on our often short-lived journeys toward these goals, we seem to forget about the various Quranic verses about “patient perseverance.” We’ve made a habit of recalling them only in the worst of times, when things are in a horrible state and we fear we can take no more. Surely, they provide help then, but they’re just as helpful with our everyday trials . It has been reported that Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said “Verily, Allah has prescribed excellence in all things,” (Muslim). Let us take this literally and realize that it truly does mean “all things,” all aspects of our lives. Rather than being frightened by the word “excellence,” know that it means “total effort,” not “perfection.” So, don’t be discouraged. There can be excellence even in your failure.
It takes seconds to set a goal, but making it happen takes time and serious thought. The key is follow through. Once the goal has been set, follow through with a reasonable plan to meet it. Introduce meaningful change into your life. Eliminate certain things, and reinforce others. Develop a holistic approach that allows you to incorporate your goals into everything you do, letting them merge with the other ideas and beliefs that define your life.
Too many times, we subconsciously convince ourselves that our goals are too great, our dreams too big. We say that we’re striving towards them, when really we lack the confidence to even try that hard. That is why we give up so easily. That is why we rarely follow through. That is why we get stuck in stop-and-go cycles. We lose patience, we don’t persevere and we put obstacles in our own way. There are many challenges we must face in life, but others we create for ourselves. By saying that we want to achieve a goal, and then living a lifestyle that opposes that achievement, we’re sabotaging our success and funding our failure. That’s no way to live. Stars aren’t just for staring. Go get them.
Nadirah Angail
Copyright© 2009
How to Get Over A Relationship
How To Get Over A Relationship
By: Leah Vernon
YouRACreator Member
It is extremely difficult to bounce back from a marriage or relationship, because you have so many ties to that individual. But do not fret, it can be done. How do I know? Because I happened to be going through it at this moment. You have hit rock bottom, you have nowhere to turn and you have to be able to reinvent yourself and push your way through this hard time. God is testing you. This person once asked, “What is God going to have to take from you for you to realize that you were not being appreciative?” I agreed with that comment, because it’s true. Most of us are not grateful for what we have and then God takes it away. We then realize that we appreciate what has left us, but sometimes we do not get a second chance to regain what we lose.
In the midst of the chaos and confusion of your relationship, you hit a dead end. Then, you end up by yourself. You have to re-awaken yourself from that deep and depressing sleep. During this process of recognition, you should be consulting with family and close friends for support and ideas on how to get through this. They should have solutions to the issues you are having from past life experiences they have dealt with.
So, you are mentally, physically and sexually attached to this human being, this person who you can’t even see yourself breathing without? Even if the relationship was rocky, abusive, hectic, and had unwanted family members involved, it still meant something to you. You still can’t see yourself being and doing anything differently than the arguing and yelling. Why? Because you’re comfortable where you are and afraid of change. It is kind of like the woman who gets beat by her husband. Everyone asks why won’t she leave him. It’s not that easy. Usually when you ask the woman who gets beat why she stays with a woman-beater, she says “I love him, and I don’t know why I stay”. That’s all she knows; abuse, degradation and humiliation.
It’s the same with the man who beats the woman. He beats her everyday due to disobedience and control. A logical person would ask him why he doesn’t just leave her and find a wife that is willing to be controlled and bossed around. He is comfortable with the situation and it becomes the norm. So, it turns into a regimen. Embrace change and admit responsibility and your post-relationship blues will fly out of the window.
If you have tried therapy, religious counseling, positive family reinforcement and prayer prior to the relationship’s end, then it’s time for the next steps: rediscovering and healing.
- Keep Your Faith, Regularly
The God you believe in is the God you should be praying to, sincerely and openly. Even in hard times of unemployment, death, separation and divorce, you must be willing to submit to him. If you didn’t know this: everything is in God’s hands. We always underestimate the power of God, faith and hope. He says “be,” and it is. When you feel down, let him lift you up
- Keep Your Distance
Keeping your distance from certain people during your time of healing and anxiety is key. You don’t need anybody reminding you of the situations of the past, bringing you down or setting you back. It would also be a good idea to stay away from the estranged spouse’s family. Again, you need space. Space is the best form of therapy. It gives you time to be focused and get to the top without many interruptions. You don’t need biased or judgmental opinions at this fragile point. Wait until you are able and strong enough to get back to your regular routine.
- Keep Your Foundation Strong
You need your family and close friends around you to help you through this rough time. They will be there for you when you feel the need to obsessively text your ex or stalk him or her during the night. You need to be able to call someone or go visit someone to let you know that it’s not right to stalk or contact someone who does not want to be with you. Moral support is awesome and you need as much as you can get.
- Keep Yourself Busy and Positive
Work, hobbies, exercise, movies, shopping, sports, concerts, fishing or anything you can enjoy. Something you can relax doing and focus your mind on. You do not need to focus on negative things, past events or people in your life that are not boosting your confidence.
